This journal will be mostly limited to friends only. If you know me by another name and want to be on my access list and agree to respect my identity, write to me to be added to my friends list.
I am Kayla Allen, and I am a trans woman. I well along the transition path, and with a few "boy-mode" exceptions am living full-time as a woman. While I have known since I was a child (single-digit years) that I've wanted to be a woman, and have from time to time shown myself that way, it was only in October 2024, when I was 59 years old, that my "egg" really started to crack and I started taking steps to present myself as female in public much more often.
This journal is likely to include pictures of me and discussion of what I'm doing, including my public appearances. My look is apt to change from time to time as I figure out what works for me and what doesn't.
While at the time I created this account, I had an active Facebook account, posts to DW are usually longer-form and you might think of them as more "behind the scenes" material at times. I created this account because of my concerns that other forms of social media will become too toxic or even unsafe. While I initially discussed myself on what I now call "The Former Tenant's" account, it became clear to me that it would be better to have a separate account for my femme self.
I'm very active in SF/Fantasy fandom, including organizing fan-run conventions like Worldcon.
You Can Get The Wood
Mar. 3rd, 2026 04:34 pmToday the stars aligned and Lisa and I went over to Big R and bought a pallet (390 logs) of Pres-to-Logs. Lisa connected the utility trailer to her pickup truck, and I followed her over there. I fortunately remembered to bring a previous purchase receipt that has the SKU for the pallet, because they can never find it. They tend to think that I meant either a six-log packet or a ton of wood pellets, because that's what most people buy. Anyway, there was no problem once she looked up the SKU ($349 for 390 logs), except that initially she tried to enter the quantity as 390, and thus the subtotal was $136,110! Not that they could have sold me that many, even if I had the fleet of trucks and forklifts.
Eventually the forklift operator appeared and brought out a pallet of logs. Lisa had me sit in the truck and hold the brake pedal, which helped the operator shove the pallet into the trailer to get it over the axle. He then trundled off without the loading ticket, and I had to chase him down and give it to him.
We came home and Lisa parked the pickup and trailer in the East Lot. We'll start unloading the logs when Lisa feels up to it. It's a lot of work, and I can't do as much heavy lifting as I used to be able to do. (Yes, I know, and I am not complaining. It comes with the territory. I never was much of a tomboy.) I'll be much happier with a full woodbox, and the unit cost of the logs in a pallet is much better than buying them in small bundles.
Eventually the forklift operator appeared and brought out a pallet of logs. Lisa had me sit in the truck and hold the brake pedal, which helped the operator shove the pallet into the trailer to get it over the axle. He then trundled off without the loading ticket, and I had to chase him down and give it to him.
We came home and Lisa parked the pickup and trailer in the East Lot. We'll start unloading the logs when Lisa feels up to it. It's a lot of work, and I can't do as much heavy lifting as I used to be able to do. (Yes, I know, and I am not complaining. It comes with the territory. I never was much of a tomboy.) I'll be much happier with a full woodbox, and the unit cost of the logs in a pallet is much better than buying them in small bundles.
New Bulbs in the Kitchen
Feb. 10th, 2026 01:36 pmA couple of days ago, the box with the 30 T12/48 long-tube florescent bulbs arrived. Yesterday, Lisa came and (with me holding things as directed) replaced all of the bulbs in the fixture.
( Let's Light This Up, Shall We )
We put the four older bulbs into the box and stored it away in a closet. The burned-out bulbs are waiting for me to have an opportunity to take them to Lowe's, where they have accepted such bulbs for safe disposal in the past. That is of course another problem with these things: you shouldn't just put them in the dumpster, and they are too long to fit anyway.
( Let's Light This Up, Shall We )
We put the four older bulbs into the box and stored it away in a closet. The burned-out bulbs are waiting for me to have an opportunity to take them to Lowe's, where they have accepted such bulbs for safe disposal in the past. That is of course another problem with these things: you shouldn't just put them in the dumpster, and they are too long to fit anyway.
2025 WSFS Business Meeting Minutes Posted
Feb. 9th, 2026 11:37 amOn Sunday morning, the 2025 WSFS Business Meeting Chair, Jesi Lipp, sent the WSFS Marketing Committee the minutes of the 2025 WSFS Business Meeting. A few hours later, I, on behalf of the committee, posted the minutes and updated the WSFS Rules page.
The Minutes are very long — 239 pages, including all of the appendices and committee reports. Even I, the biggest parliamentary nerd you're apt to ever meet, find my eyes glazing over, and I frankly skipped over much of it.
Also updated is the Business Passed On, which is what last year's meeting gave first passage and what will be up for ratification this year in Anaheim. Even this is ten pages long.
If you're curious about this, you might want to go look now, because it might take you a while to grind through it all in time for this year's meeting.
The Minutes are very long — 239 pages, including all of the appendices and committee reports. Even I, the biggest parliamentary nerd you're apt to ever meet, find my eyes glazing over, and I frankly skipped over much of it.
Also updated is the Business Passed On, which is what last year's meeting gave first passage and what will be up for ratification this year in Anaheim. Even this is ten pages long.
If you're curious about this, you might want to go look now, because it might take you a while to grind through it all in time for this year's meeting.
Lighting Up the Kitchen
Feb. 2nd, 2026 05:38 pmThe overhead light fixture in our kitchen is a four-tube fluorescent fixture that uses 48-inch T12 bulbs. These bulbs last for a very long time. We moved here in 2011, and had never had to replace one of them. This week we finally had a pair of them burn out. This presented a challenge.
( Bulb Replacement )
I found someone selling a box of 30 T12 bulbs on eBay and ordered them. They were not even very expensive. When it arrives, we expect to go ahead and change all four existing bulbs so they are the same K value. At the rate we go through them, I expect this will be a lifetime supply of bulbs, which is good because once they are gone, there are no more.
Had we not been able to source replacements, Lisa was probably going to undertake replacing the ballast and fittings to change the fixture to use T8 bulbs, which you can still buy. It's a lot of work, but she was willing to take a crack at it.
Before you say, "Just replace it with LEDs," note that Lisa can perceive the flicker in LED lights, and it hurts her eyes. Yes, you probably can't see it. She can. It's her house too, and she's the one doing the work, so I do not complain; I just buy the parts and hold the tools.
( Bulb Replacement )
I found someone selling a box of 30 T12 bulbs on eBay and ordered them. They were not even very expensive. When it arrives, we expect to go ahead and change all four existing bulbs so they are the same K value. At the rate we go through them, I expect this will be a lifetime supply of bulbs, which is good because once they are gone, there are no more.
Had we not been able to source replacements, Lisa was probably going to undertake replacing the ballast and fittings to change the fixture to use T8 bulbs, which you can still buy. It's a lot of work, but she was willing to take a crack at it.
Before you say, "Just replace it with LEDs," note that Lisa can perceive the flicker in LED lights, and it hurts her eyes. Yes, you probably can't see it. She can. It's her house too, and she's the one doing the work, so I do not complain; I just buy the parts and hold the tools.
Let There be Headlights!
Jan. 2nd, 2026 07:05 amThe replacement instrument panel dimmer switch and separate headlight switch arrived in the past couple of days. On Thursday, Lisa tackled replacing the switches so that we had running/marker/instrument lights again.
( Switching Things Up )
After Lisa replaced the switches and reinstalled the dashboard bezels, we confirmed again that everything worked. I thanked her profusely for her ability here. Replacing the bezel would be quite difficult. Our best source would have been a junkyard where we could hope to find an old bezel that wasn't as worn out as ours was.
I'm very happy to have the lights working properly again. Driving home on New Year's, even just a couple of kilometers, with one foot holding the brake pedal on lightly in order to illuminate the tail lights, was nerve-racking even at slow speed. Particularly at this time of the year, I want the lights to work. Besides, I usually drive with my lights on for safety anyway.
( Switching Things Up )
After Lisa replaced the switches and reinstalled the dashboard bezels, we confirmed again that everything worked. I thanked her profusely for her ability here. Replacing the bezel would be quite difficult. Our best source would have been a junkyard where we could hope to find an old bezel that wasn't as worn out as ours was.
I'm very happy to have the lights working properly again. Driving home on New Year's, even just a couple of kilometers, with one foot holding the brake pedal on lightly in order to illuminate the tail lights, was nerve-racking even at slow speed. Particularly at this time of the year, I want the lights to work. Besides, I usually drive with my lights on for safety anyway.
Here is the recording that I did (using Lisa's camera gear) of the 2025 WSFS In Person Site Selection Business Meeting, which was the fifth and final meeting of the 2025 Worldcon, all others having been held entirely online. This meeting was entirely in person, although it was streamed. Remote participation was not possible. Hybrid meeting for a gathering this large are more complicated than in-person meetings and entirely-only meetings put together and probably multiplied by ten or more.
This was the most difficult of the videos to produce. The camera generates a series of shorter videos to keep the individual file sizes down. I stitched them together in Adobe Premiere Pro, then compiled the video, setting to working before I went to bed on Friday night. Sometime around 2 AM Saturday, I woke up and found that the compilation was complete, and I then uploaded it to the YouTube Worldcon Events channel. This took many, many hours. This should have told me something was wrong. In retrospect, I think I had the settings (Premiere's settings) at much too high of a bitrate. The file, for a video just over two hours long, was 11 GB. That's too big, and it came back to bite me.
I checked to see that the video was working, but I didn't watch it all the way through, and sent out notifications. What I did not know until people started reporting it to me was that around 45 minutes into the video, the images turned into surreal junk. My guess is that YouTube choked on the high-bitrate original and garbled it. I deleted the video and did a new compilation with a different present, and then I turned the bitrate down from that. The resultant file was less than 4 GB, which still seems high to me, and it still took more than two hours to upload even on my relatively good home connection, but this time it finally worked.
Fortunately for me, the posts I'd made to a couple of Facebook communities were still in moderation, so I could cancel the posts and re-post with a working video.
This is not the Worldcon's official video, nor was I in an official position with this year's Business Meeting. The 2025 Business Meeting team says that they do plan to edit the various BM videos of the meetings that were public (i.e. not held in executive session) and then post them to the Worldcon Events Channel. I am not involved with that.
I am glad that I did not try to do this compilation/uploading during Worldcon itself. It would have taken wey too much time, and I think it unlikely that the connection speed in my hotel room would have been anywhere near sufficient to make it work. I'd probably still be in Seattle waiting for the file to finish uploading if I'd tried doing it.
This posts is public, as is the video. You are welcome to share this with anyone you think might be interested, and you don't need my permission to do so. It would probably be better to just go to the YouTube video and share it directly.
This was the most difficult of the videos to produce. The camera generates a series of shorter videos to keep the individual file sizes down. I stitched them together in Adobe Premiere Pro, then compiled the video, setting to working before I went to bed on Friday night. Sometime around 2 AM Saturday, I woke up and found that the compilation was complete, and I then uploaded it to the YouTube Worldcon Events channel. This took many, many hours. This should have told me something was wrong. In retrospect, I think I had the settings (Premiere's settings) at much too high of a bitrate. The file, for a video just over two hours long, was 11 GB. That's too big, and it came back to bite me.
I checked to see that the video was working, but I didn't watch it all the way through, and sent out notifications. What I did not know until people started reporting it to me was that around 45 minutes into the video, the images turned into surreal junk. My guess is that YouTube choked on the high-bitrate original and garbled it. I deleted the video and did a new compilation with a different present, and then I turned the bitrate down from that. The resultant file was less than 4 GB, which still seems high to me, and it still took more than two hours to upload even on my relatively good home connection, but this time it finally worked.
Fortunately for me, the posts I'd made to a couple of Facebook communities were still in moderation, so I could cancel the posts and re-post with a working video.
This is not the Worldcon's official video, nor was I in an official position with this year's Business Meeting. The 2025 Business Meeting team says that they do plan to edit the various BM videos of the meetings that were public (i.e. not held in executive session) and then post them to the Worldcon Events Channel. I am not involved with that.
I am glad that I did not try to do this compilation/uploading during Worldcon itself. It would have taken wey too much time, and I think it unlikely that the connection speed in my hotel room would have been anywhere near sufficient to make it work. I'd probably still be in Seattle waiting for the file to finish uploading if I'd tried doing it.
This posts is public, as is the video. You are welcome to share this with anyone you think might be interested, and you don't need my permission to do so. It would probably be better to just go to the YouTube video and share it directly.
Here's the video of the presentations and Q&A sessions with the Worldcon bids for the years 2027 through 2030. Montréal was the only bidder for 2027, and did win, getting about 90% of the votes.
This is a public post. You are welcome to share it, or go directly to YouTube and share it from there.
This is a public post. You are welcome to share it, or go directly to YouTube and share it from there.
Yesterday was an apparently endless battle between me, Adobe Premiere Pro, and YouTube, but the easiest of the three videos was also the shortest (and this is not a coincidence).
I wish that I'd pointed out to everyone before we started which of the various lenses that was pointing at them was the video camera, because the video camera is also the least-obvious of the things that was out there, since the recording unit is actually a separate box connected by a cable.
Obviously, I am very happy about this video.
This post is public. You are welcome to share it with others, or just go to the YouTube video and share it from there.
I wish that I'd pointed out to everyone before we started which of the various lenses that was pointing at them was the video camera, because the video camera is also the least-obvious of the things that was out there, since the recording unit is actually a separate box connected by a cable.
Obviously, I am very happy about this video.
This post is public. You are welcome to share it with others, or just go to the YouTube video and share it from there.
Today was the Westercon 77 Business Meeting. Because Lisa didn't come to Westercon (she's preparing for her trip to Europe that starts on Wednesday of this week), she loaned me her camera gear and I was deputized to record the meeting. Kevin is the overall manager of Westercon Business (both Martin Pyne, chair of the Business Meeting, and I as head of Site Selection report to him), and he also maintains a YouTube playlist of Westercon Business Meetings. Here's the video from this year's meeting.
I presented the results of Site Selection to the meeting at the start. The results of Site Selection were declared official when the meeting thanked me for my work and ordered me to destroy the ballots, which I will do when I get home where our shredder is.
A technical amendment that restores the official name of Westercon (accidentally deleted by a different change a few years ago) was ratified without objection.
Then came the Big Event: the motion that I authored with Linda Deneroff to Retire Westercon. I spoke first, and you can watch the video to hear my case. There was some debate, and while I feel sure that nobody really wants Westercon to end, the meeting appears to have been persuaded by my argument that it's time for it to retire, and for the retirement to be done in a dignified and orderly manner.
The motion to Repeal the Westercon Bylaws received first passage by a vote of "many to four." As with all bylaw amendments, it has to be ratified by the following year's Westercon to take effect. Should the motion be ratified, there would still be two Westercons left. Westercon 79 in 2027 will be in Santa Clara at BayCon. The possible Last Westercon would be Westercon 80 in 2028. That convention site will be selected next year at BayCon 2026.
I hope that we can persuade LASFS, which founded the convention in 1948, to host Westercon 80 and give Westercon a dignified and appropriate retirement.
I presented the results of Site Selection to the meeting at the start. The results of Site Selection were declared official when the meeting thanked me for my work and ordered me to destroy the ballots, which I will do when I get home where our shredder is.
A technical amendment that restores the official name of Westercon (accidentally deleted by a different change a few years ago) was ratified without objection.
Then came the Big Event: the motion that I authored with Linda Deneroff to Retire Westercon. I spoke first, and you can watch the video to hear my case. There was some debate, and while I feel sure that nobody really wants Westercon to end, the meeting appears to have been persuaded by my argument that it's time for it to retire, and for the retirement to be done in a dignified and orderly manner.
The motion to Repeal the Westercon Bylaws received first passage by a vote of "many to four." As with all bylaw amendments, it has to be ratified by the following year's Westercon to take effect. Should the motion be ratified, there would still be two Westercons left. Westercon 79 in 2027 will be in Santa Clara at BayCon. The possible Last Westercon would be Westercon 80 in 2028. That convention site will be selected next year at BayCon 2026.
I hope that we can persuade LASFS, which founded the convention in 1948, to host Westercon 80 and give Westercon a dignified and appropriate retirement.
Santa Clara Bids for 2027 Westercon
May. 20th, 2025 11:50 amAs some of you know, I've been appointed to run the 2027 Westercon (Westercon 79) Site Selection election that will take place at Westercon 77/BayCon 2025 this year. Initially, it did not look like anyone was going to bid, but it turned out that I'd misunderstood what a potential bidder was telling me. We had a discussion, they provided the necessary paperwork, and I decided that in the interest of fairness since I made a mistake, and with nobody being harmed (nobody else had filed or even expressed an interest), that we could consider their bid filed in time.
Here's the Formal Announcement that Santa Clara in 2027 is on the ballot.
One of the good things about this delay is that we worked out a way to allow people to vote other than on printed paper ballots any by sending paper checks. Once this year's hosting Westercon puts the mechanism for purchasing a "Voting Token" on their website, we'll publish the Westercon 79 Site Selection ballot on Westercon.org and ask Westercon 77 to send it to all of their members.
Here's the Formal Announcement that Santa Clara in 2027 is on the ballot.
One of the good things about this delay is that we worked out a way to allow people to vote other than on printed paper ballots any by sending paper checks. Once this year's hosting Westercon puts the mechanism for purchasing a "Voting Token" on their website, we'll publish the Westercon 79 Site Selection ballot on Westercon.org and ask Westercon 77 to send it to all of their members.